10 Techniques for Making Her Fall for You All Over Again

From: Dr. Frank Gunzburg

With a little careful thought and planning, even the most unromantic person out there can make these techniques work. And when you do, be careful, they may just sweep your spouse right off her feet.

Leave a Love Note

Leaving your spouse a love note is something you might not have even thought about doing in a long time—maybe not ever. But it can be one of the most romantic things in the world—particularly if you know how to set it up the right way.

Just scratch out a simple note on a piece of paper that’s an expression of how you feel about your husband or wife. It doesn’t have to be complicated. Just a simple expression of your feelings will do.

Then, simply hide the letter somewhere your spouse will be sure to find it when you aren’t around.

Do a Chore for Your Spouse

On the surface, this might not sound so romantic. But let me tell you, it definitely works.

You see, not all romantic interactions have to be champagne and roses. Sometimes just doing a few dishes could be the most romantic thing in the world.

Give Her a Back or Hand Massage

Another way to take advantage of the moment, and do something tender for your spouse is to give her a back massage. This could happen in a number of different ways in a variety of contexts.

If a back rub is too much, you can give a hand or foot massage. Take your partner’s hand or foot in both your hands, use a few drops of vegetable or massage oil, or even hand cream, and be very thorough in giving attention to every part of your spouse’s hand or foot. When you finish, do the other one.

Take Care of the Kids and Give Your Spouse a Night Off

Generally speaking, romance and intimacy happen when the two of you are together. After all, it’s difficult to create an intimate connection when you aren’t spending time with one another.

But in some cases time alone can be the most romantic thing you can offer. If you show your spouse you understand her enough to know when she is so stressed out and exhausted that she needs a break, it can be a great indication of how deeply you are connected to her.

Making out in the Moonlight

Do you and your spouse spend anytime making out anymore? I’m not talking about a couple of long kisses that lead right to sex. I’m talking about spending time in each other’s arms just kissing and holding one another—perhaps with some light petting. When was the last time that happened?

A Candlelight Dinner at Home

Another special thing to do for your spouse is organize and set up a surprise candlelight dinner at home… without the kids.

If you have young children at home the first step will be to organize some babysitting for them. If you have teenage children in the house, send them out to a movie or over to a friend’s house for the evening (they will thank you for it).

It’s best if you can do this when your spouse is out of the house (like when she is out to work), that way you can surprise her with a beautiful evening when she comes home.

Dinner at Your Spouse’s Favorite Restaurant

An alternative to dinner at home is dinner at your spouse’s favorite restaurant. This is particularly special if the two of you don’t go out very often. The two of you can enjoy some good food and good conversation together by yourselves. (Again, organize some care for your children. It’s hard to have a romantic evening when the kids are in tow.)

A Picnic at the Park for Two

Instead of the traditional candlelight dinner or dinner at a restaurant, you could go another route. You could take your spouse on a picnic in a favorite park, on the beach, or in the woods. Anywhere will do, actually. As long as you design it as a special time that the two of you can spend together.

An Evening at a Bed and Breakfast

These days you can find wonderful little cottages almost anywhere in the nation where you can spend a night and have a continental breakfast in the morning. No, I’m not talking about Motel 6. I’m talking about bed and breakfasts. These small hotels are often very intimate, family run establishments where you stay at one of a few rooms in a house or cottage and then enjoy a nice breakfast in the morning.

The Classic: Flowers and Chocolates

And finally we have the classic: flowers and chocolates. This age old romantic technique works as good for many people today as it did in ages past. The key is to make it a special event in some way.

That means surprising your wife on the way home from work one evening with a special gift of flowers and/or chocolates, just to show how much you care. It could also mean giving her flowers or chocolates on a special occasion like her birthday or Valentine’s Day.

Part of being romantic is being a bit chivalrous. Bringing flowers and chocolate is such a classic move that it recalls a form of chivalry that you don’t see that much these days. That in itself is romantic, and can open up an opportunity for a new kind of intimacy in your relationship.

Dr. Frank Gunzburg is a licensed counselor in Maryland and has been specializing is helping couples restore their marriage for over 30 years.