Making Your Sex Life HOTTER than Ever

From: Dr. Frank Gunzburg

When you are both capable of healthy sex and yet it is not part of your marriage, it is more difficult to have a good marriage. When one or both of you is not satisfied with the frequency of sex you are having (either too much or too little), not satisfied with the quality of sex, not satisfied with your partner’s sexual interests or proclivities (for example, when one person wants to use sex toys and the other person is totally uninterested or even repulsed), or when you aren’t stimulating or fulfilling each other sexually, any or all of these can be a major barrier to developing a more intimate relationship.

So let’s go through it step by step. What follows is my 5-Step Recipe for Renewing Your Sex Life. Do you want to learn some erotic ways to turn your partner on and heat up your sex life again in a healthy, meaningful way that will allow you to deepen your emotional connection while driving each other to pleasure sexually? Of course, you do. Let’s get started.

Step #1: Let’s Talk about Sex

The very first step to heating up your sex life again in a healthy and positive way is to talk about it. I know this doesn’t sound very sexy. But in truth talking about what your expectations and desires in the bedroom is the only way you can begin to sort out whatever issues surround your sex life. Besides, talking about sex can actually be a whole lot sexier than you think.

To start with, I would HIGHLY recommend you commit to a policy of complete honesty and openness about your sexual relationship. This means talking openly about everything sexual in your marriage including what you like and don’t like sexually, what you would like to experiment with, how much sex you would like to have, and how you think you could improve the passion in the bedroom.

Step #2: Start Moving Toward the Sex Life You Desire… Slowly

Once you are both aware of what you desire sexually, it’s time to start taking some steps in that direction. That doesn’t mean you have to jump into bed and try out every new fantasy you have in one night.

In fact, if you have had problems in your sexual relationship I would strongly recommend you go a very different route. Start very slowly and build up to more and more sexual activity over time.

Step #3: Create Opportunities for Sex

Creating romantic, intimate moments in your relationship will generate opportunities for physical intimacy to arise.

But for couples who haven’t had sex in a long time, or in situations where one or both of you is unhappy with the frequency of your sexual relationship, it may be a good idea to create additional opportunities for physical intimacy. That is to say, you may not want to wait for the “perfect” moment to have sex. After all, no moment is exactly perfect, so you may be waiting for a long time if you followed this path.

This is particularly true for couples where sex has been a difficult problem. In these cases, it may hard for you to move naturally from a romantic, intimate moment into sexual activity. It’s a very natural and understandable problem.

Step #4: Don’t Forget about Romance and Intimacy

Now that we have explored each of the three points in the confusing triangle created by intimacy, sex, and romance, it’s time to bring all this information together and see how each of the points in the triangle relates to one another.

But none of these relationships goes one way. In fact all three of these are interconnected. For example, as you become more intimate with your spouse again, you will likely find yourself being romantic. Both of these could lead to more sex, which in turn leads to more romance and intimacy.

When one of the pieces of the triangle is broken, this whole component of your relationship can turn into a bad downward spiral until you are sucked into a marriage where intimacy, romance, sex, and your emotional connection have died, leaving a cold and distant shell of what once was.

Step #5: Devour Each Other

When you think of the most passionate sex you can imagine, what do you picture? If you were involved in it, what do you imagine it would feel like to you? Let your mind wander, and let your imagination ponder these questions for a little while.

Become consumed with your lover… your spouse. Then take a moment to step back and look at each other. Remember who this is. This is your spouse. This is the person you have chosen to spend your life with.

Dr. Frank Gunzburg is a licensed counselor in Maryland and has been specializing is helping couples restore their marriage for over 30 years